Do not be like them, for your Father knows what you need before you ask him.
— Matthew 6:8
Following the Call—Chap. 28: The Father Knows
Prayer and the imposter syndrome. On being known. Ask anyway! What are you asking for? Your turn.
Thank God that our prayer does not depend on our expressing the correct desires, that it does not depend on our making a correct “diagnosis” of our needs and troubles….Thank God that he knows us before we pray, that the Father is always there with his goodness before we come with our many words or with our great silences.
— Helmut Thielicke
Prayer and the Imposter Syndrome
In my work with college students, there seems to be a particular problem they struggle with most: the “imposter syndrome.” First used by psychologists in the 1970s, the term refers to a pervasive, embedded belief and experience that one is not as competent as others perceive you to be. No matter what kind of success you may achieve, deep down you feel like a fraud, a phony. Worst of all, you fear that at any moment you’ll be found out and that you don't belong.
Though the imposter syndrome is not an officially recognized disorder, it is real and many suffer under it. I’m no psychologist, but I believe that for many people, not just students, this syndrome affects our spiritual lives, impeding our relationship with God and our understanding of prayer. If the Pharisees’ hypocrisy (a kind of imposter syndrome), with its underlying drive to get both God’s and other’s approval, is any indication of the ways in which we subvert the true nature of prayer, then Jesus’ word regarding God is good news: God knows before we ask. The bottom line: We don’t have to perform in prayer! We can come to him as we are.
On Being Known
Our propensity to turn prayer into a begging session has a lot to do with our view of God. “The issue of prayer,” writes Abraham Joshua Heschel, “is not prayer; the issue of prayer is God.” According to Jesus, we don’t have to inform God about our needs. But there is something more. God doesn’t just know about our needs, he know us, with our needs. God knows who we are; he knows that beyond all our requests is our need to be known by him. Heschel explains:
What we want is not just to know Him, but to be known to Him; not to form judgments about Him, but to be judged by Him; not to make the world an object of our mind, but to let the world come to His attention, to augment His, rather than our, knowledge. We endeavor to disclose ourselves to the Sustainer of all, rather than to enclose the world in ourselves. (Thunder in the Soul)
To know God is marvelous, but to be known and loved by him is liberating: we don’t have to be imposters! We don’t have to measure up. We don’t have to enter the door of God’s heart with a resume of accomplishments. Unlike pagans with their gods, we don’t have to impress God, or worry him into fixing things up for us. We don’t have to manipulate or cajole or appease or make a deal with God, nor learn some secret formula and get ourselves all spiritually worked up.
I love the Lord, because he has heard
my voice and my supplications.
Because he inclined his ear to me,
therefore I will call on him as long as I live.— Psalm 116:1-2
God inclines his ear toward us, even before we pray. His interest in us is far greater than ours will ever be for him. God created our inmost being; he knit us together in our mother’s womb; he knows our frame; he knows the days ordained for us (Psalm 139:13ff). Before God even formed us in the womb he knew us (Jer. 1:5). We are “fully known,” as the apostle Paul writes (1 Cor. 13:13), and fully loved (1 John. 4:19). We don’t have to get God’s attention. When we pray we can know that he is already listening.
Ask Anyway!
Jesus does not say that God knows what we will ask before we ask but that the Father knows our needs before we make them known to him. Jesus assumes that we will make our requests known to the Father. That’s what children do! A child, says Christoph Friedrich Blumhardt, “asks for everything, knowing God has an ear for him. For at the very least this helps to make us ever more aware that in all things God is the giver.”
God gives. He is the giver of life, of good gifts. We live and move and have our being in him (Acts 17:28). It is his very nature to give. And because we are an object of God’s infinite concern he anticipates and eagerly desires to supply what we need. No wonder Jesus says, “If you ask me anything in my name, I will do it” (John 14:14). God delights in those who come to him, with or without words. We can let down our defenses, let go of our façades, eagerly make our requests known to God.
What Are You Asking For?
In his book, Cries from the Heart, Johann Christoph Arnold shares a story about a rabbi who was visited by an angel. The angel told him to ask anything he wanted. He asked the rabbi three times, but the rabbi could not think of anything he needed. He was content with what he had, and told the angel there was nothing he desired. Then the angel spoke:
You are a stupid and selfish man. In your selfishness you refused God’s gift. You could have asked for anything! You could have asked for no more hunger or disease or war upon the earth, for no more hatred. You could have asked for the victory of righteousness over injustice. You could have asked for the Messiah to come! And all you could think of was your own miserable life.
Some of us have many needs, some of us don’t. God knows. Whether in want or in plenty, God simply wants us to come to him. But more than this, God desires to move us beyond our own personal needs. He wants to turn us toward the suffering and needs of others. He is listening to their cries as well as ours. Jesus said, “Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness….” Prayer is an invitation for us to enter what is uppermost on God’s heart: righteousness, justice, and peace on earth.
Your Turn
What difference does it make in your life to know that God knows what we need before you ask? Just reply to this email to leave a comment.
I like what you express Gretchen with regards to "checking in" with your daughter. Prayer is a lot like that. It's our chance to check in with God, which in my mind is the most important thing about prayer. I think it's very easy to forget what a marvelous thing it is to experience God's presence in person. This is far better than any prayer that happens to get answered.
This was an excellent clarification of our self and what prayer does. I work in a middle school where I have been more of a fan of developing self awareness rather than self esteem. I think either an elevated or diminished sense of self has differing, but equal impact on not only relationships on earth, but also our relationship with God. Prayer diffuses that. He knows me better than I know myself. Sometimes prayer changes me, sometimes prayer changes the situation, sometimes it's simply doing what the Lord asks. Having an 18 year old daughter, I want her to "check in" with me. There isn't always a purpose or a point, I just want to feel the love. I resonate with being and imposter and think it might be true. We don't know ourselves as well as our Creator does. I think prayer reveals our nature as sinners who are dependent on our Heavenly Father. Thank you Charles for digging deeper into what it means to Follow the Call of Christ.